Shaken, Stirred, and Still Gendered: Are Drinks Manly or Girly?

You know the drill. A guy walks into a bar and orders a neat whiskey. His date asks for a lychee martini. The bartender nods, pours, and slides the drinks across the counter. No one says anything, but the choreography is familiar. Whisky is strong. Masculine. Serious. The martini? Sweet, floral, and, let us be honest, feminine.

I have seen this play out hundreds of times. Once, a man ordered a frozen strawberry daiquiri, then immediately clarified, “It’s for my girlfriend.” She was not even there. Meanwhile, I have had women order mezcal neat, no chaser, and not blink. So what’s going on?

Gendered cocktail history

Let us start with the glass. A coupe or martini glass, stemmed, delicate, and elegant, is often perceived as feminine. A tumbler or a rocks glass? Masculine. A 2020 article in Health Psychology Review found that glassware design influences not only drinking behaviour but also how we perceive the drinker. Men are less likely to order drinks served in stemmed glasses, not because of taste, but because of what the glass says about them.

So why are fruity drinks associated with women? And why are cocktails, in general, still seen as feminine?

Historically, cocktails were symbols of rebellion. During Prohibition, women used alcohol as a form of liberation. The Suffragette Cocktail, created in 1909, was marketed as a drink that could convert men to the feminist cause, one sip at a time.

In colonial Singapore, cocktails were markers of modernity and status. Historians Claire Lowrie and Lauren Samuelsson published research that showed how elite women used cocktail culture to challenge gender norms while reinforcing class boundaries. The cocktail was not just a drink; it was a statement.

But somewhere along the way, the narrative shifted. Fruity became frivolous. Sweet became unserious. And cocktails that were both became coded female.

This is not just a Western hang-up. Across Asia, alcohol consumption is often tied to gender roles. In Southeast Asia, women are expected to drink lightly, if at all. In India, female drinkers are still stigmatised. The cocktail may be global, but the gendering is deeply local.

Blue for boys, pink for girls

Think of every alcohol ad you have ever seen. Fruity drinks are paired with women in sundresses. Whisky ads feature men in suits, staring into the middle distance. A survey by The Mixer found that these stereotypes continue to shape consumer behaviour, even though preferences are more nuanced than we think.

Liquor.com argues that outdated expectations influence everything from drink choices to bar design. The idea that certain drinks are “for men” or “for women” is baked into the hospitality industry.

From the time we are kids, pink is for girls, and blue is for boys. Sweet is feminine, bitter is masculine. These associations bleed into adulthood. A cocktail with lychee and elderflower feels feminine, not because of its ingredients, but because of the cultural baggage we attach to sweetness and aesthetics.

Even the way drinks are described plays a role. “Robust,” “smoky,” and “bold” are masculine. “Delicate,” “floral,” and “fruity” are feminine. The language of cocktails is gendered, and that shapes how we experience them.

Does biology matter?

Is there a biological basis for these preferences? Maybe. Peer-reviewed studies show that women are more sensitive to bitter flavours, which could explain a preference for sweeter drinks. But even if there are biological leanings, they are amplified or distorted by social norms. 

One study published in the European Journal of Nutrition found that women who were sensitive to bitter compounds like phenylthiocarbamide (PTC) were more likely to avoid bitter vegetables, which could influence broader taste preferences.

A meta-analysis in Nutrition Reviews also found that women are more likely to be “supertasters”, individuals with heightened sensitivity to bitter compounds, though the implications for alcohol preferences are still being explored.

From my own experience, the idea that men are stronger drinkers is less about biology and more about bravado. I have had male clients order Long Island Iced Teas back-to-back, not because they enjoy them, but because they want to show they can “handle it.” Meanwhile, women often get judged if they do the same. But here’s the twist: women tend to pace themselves better, hydrate more, and know their limits. Strength isn’t just about ABV – it’s about control.

Gender does not just shape what we drink; it shapes how we taste. A study in MDPI’s Proceedings found that women favoured salty and plant-based foods, while men consumed more meat and alcohol. These preferences are influenced by genetics, hormones, and societal expectations.

Is it changing? Definitely. Younger drinkers are more fluid in their choices. I have seen guys order pornstar martinis without flinching. I have seen women ask for Sazeracs. The lines are blurring, but the old scripts still linger.

The rise of ungendered bars and inclusive menus is helping. Good bartenders are asking, “What flavours do you like?” instead of assuming based on gender. And that’s a great place to start.

So what’s needed to break the mold?

Knowledge. Confidence. Permission.

When people understand the craft behind a cocktail, the balance, the technique, the history, they stop seeing it as a gendered object and start seeing it as an experience. When bartenders create safe, inclusive spaces, people feel free to order what they actually want, not what they think they should want.

Ultimately, the cocktail is not the problem. The problem is the story we have wrapped around it. And maybe it is time we rewrote that story, one drink at a time.

by Loga (Bartender)